Wedding Appropriate: Five Tips for Great Guests

You received a Save the Date card for a wedding and marked it on your calendar. Now what?

Give some thought to the following:

• Note how the invitation or save the date card is addressed. Is this just for you (if you are single) or is it a “plus one?” Still not sure? Reach out to the person you know the best in the wedding party — maid of honor, bride, groom or a parent — and discreetly ask without putting anyone on the spot. Their budget may be tight, and while they want you to share in their big moment, they might not be able to spring for a plus one. Don’t hold it against them.
• Don’t assume your children are invited, even if it is a family wedding. Also don’t have an attitude if you find out no children are invited. Respect the bride and groom by allowing them to experience their wedding day the way they want.
• RSVP immediately. Once you’ve decided one way or the other, let them know. They are making plans based on the RSVP’s they receive.
• Give some thought to how you will dress on the day of the big event. Be aware of what the dress code will be. If not spelled out on the invite, clues can be had from the location, time of day, and the couple’s website (a very common feature now). It’s better to avoid going into debt for your outfit. First, shop your closet. You might not need a completely new outfit. When you have the right items in your closet, wearing a basic dress and upgrading the accessories will pay off. Women, use your shoes and accessories to elevate a simple dress. Men, wear your basic grey or navy suit, but give it some punch with a fresh color or print shirt and contrasting tie. This will be appropriate for most weddings.
• Remember you want to be generous with the gift, so plan a budget with everything, including:
  • Travel expenses
  • Hotel
  • Tips
  • Wardrobe
  • Hair and nails
  • Bridal shower gift
  • Wedding gift
  • If the wedding is out town give some thought to expenses within your comfort level.

Wedding-Appropriate Guest Outfits:

10 Faux Pas to Avoid:

1. Sneakers (unless the groom is wearing them)
2. Flip-flops
3. Shorts or capris or anything too casual
4. Packing food to go. Asking to take food for later or for someone that couldn’t be there is rude. Unless they have cake slices boxed to go for everyone, refrain from asking.
5. Graphic tees (even if you’re wearing a sport coat)
6. Wearing all white (unless invited to do so)
7. Drinking too much—Just because it’s open bar doesn’t mean you need to drink your money’s worth.
8. Oversharing—Goes hand in hand with No. 7. Avoid any gossip about the couple.
9. Dressing too casually—Over-dressing is better than under-dressing, including intentionally distressed clothing (even if it’s designer)
10. Stealing the Spotlight—Recently I’ve heard of others getting engaged at a friend’s wedding! There must be only one star couple per event; wait until another day.

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