Each month we talk about the important tool of using our wardrobes to present the best version of ourselves. In this issue let’s talk about another equally important dimension of our image—our social giveback image. I see it all the time, as I’m sure you do … the social connections we have—those that do it well, and those that don’t. Right this minute I could log into my LinkedIn account and find the usual people that are hawking something—desperate to get you to like or comment. They do this by asking silly questions like what is our favorite movie, candy bar, etc.
I have at least a dozen connections on Facebook that show up when they are selling a workshop or event, stating it’s “very limited space” or “special pricing today only.” It is so obvious these folks only sign in to their page and not their feed. Also for a few of this group, they often get dressed up and show up at networking events only when they are looking for bodies to fill their workshops. I’m sure they have no idea that they are seen as obvious social takers. What image do we have of them?
Another group of people that we often have is the Facebook voyeurs who want to know what others are up to but never like or comment. Now, the few who I know well enough to ask why they do that tell me they don’t participate because they don’t want the email notifications that they will receive if they comment. That sounds like an excuse. Facebook is to “connect” and build or deepen relationships, personally or professionally. Voyeurs simply like knowing what everyone is doing, and when they run into you, they don’t even mention what they know. Often when they ask, “What’s new?” and when you share “I just got back from a conference” they respond with, “I know, I saw that on Facebook.” What image do we have of this person?
I really believe we need to use social media especially when we don’t need something from it, but just as a relationship tool. As I meet people at networking events, I use the business cards I receive to look up those that interest me and connect with them. Sometimes it leads to a face-to-face conversation or other connection, but often it ends with just connecting online. I let things happen organically.
So where do you fit in?
Social Givers:
- Authentically show up, comment, and like others’ posts.
- Sign up for e-newsletters from people they see at networking events as a way to understand what they offer to their clients, so the social-giver can refer business.
- Look up every one of their clients and connect and share their clients’ e-newsletters, articles, etc., so their clients know they care and want them to be successful.
- Don’t feel obligated to give their business to everyone but will make appropriate referrals to others based on their needs.
- Share others’ good news on their own pages because it makes the other person look good.
- Look for opportunities to give positive feedback to everyone they are connected to.
- Arrive with a “who can I help?” mentality.
- Purchase tickets to events and show up for those they want to support.
- Happily write and send testimonials for those they do business with.
- Update their professional photo every other year.
Social Takers:
- Promote their workshops and newsletters, then disappear.
- Never or rarely “like” or comment on others posts.
- Arrive with a “what about me?” mentality.
- Never sign up for other e-newsletters or blogs.
- Never purchase tickets or attend others’ events.
- Never share others good news or articles.
- Never send a testimonial to support another person.
- Many times have an outdated photo of themselves looking much younger or, worse, a “selfie.”
As you can see, we are all making an indelible impression of who we are and what others can expect from working with us on social media, not just when we walk into a room. Evaluate your social media language and detox it just as you would your wardrobe. Be colorful, authentic, honest, and complimentary of others and have fun with it!
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