Wedding Appropriate: Five Tips for Great Guests

You received a Save the Date card for a wedding and marked it on your calendar. Now what?

Give some thought to the following:

  • Note how the invitation or save the date card is addressed. Is this just for you (if you are single) or is it a “plus one?” Still not sure? Reach out to the person you know the best in the wedding party — maid of honor, bride, groom or a parent — and discreetly ask without putting anyone on the spot. Their budget may be tight, and while they want you to share in their big moment, they might not be able to spring for a plus one. Don’t hold it against them.
  • Don’t assume your children are invited, even if it is a family wedding. Also don’t have an attitude if you find out no children are invited. Respect the bride and groom by allowing them to experience their wedding day the way they want.
  • RSVP immediately. Once you’ve decided one way or the other, let them know. They are making plans based on the RSVP’s they receive.
  • Give some thought to how you will dress on the day of the big event. Be aware of what the dress code will be. If not spelled out on the invite, clues can be had from the location, time of day, and the couple’s website (a very common feature now). It’s better to avoid going into debt for your outfit. First, shop your closet. You might not need a completely new outfit. When you have the right items in your closet, wearing a basic dress and upgrading the accessories will pay off. Women, use your shoes and accessories to elevate a simple dress. Men, wear your basic grey or navy suit, but give it some punch with a fresh color or print shirt and contrasting tie. This will be appropriate for most weddings.
  • Remember you want to be generous with the gift, so plan a budget with everything, including:
    • Travel expenses
    • Hotel
    • Tips
    • Wardrobe
    • Hair and nails
    • Bridal shower gift
    • Wedding gift
    • If the wedding is out town give some thought to expenses within your comfort level.

Wedding-Appropriate Guest Outfits:

10 Faux Pas to Avoid:

  1. Sneakers (unless the groom is wearing them)
  2. Flip-flops
  3. Shorts or capris or anything too casual
  4. Packing food to go. Asking to take food for later or for someone that couldn’t be there is rude. Unless they have cake slices boxed to go for everyone, refrain from asking.
  5. Graphic tees (even if you’re wearing a sport coat)
  6. Wearing all white (unless invited to do so)
  7. Drinking too much—Just because it’s open bar doesn’t mean you need to drink your money’s worth.
  8. Oversharing—Goes hand in hand with No. 7. Avoid any gossip about the couple.
  9. Dressing too casually—Over-dressing is better than under-dressing, including intentionally distressed clothing (even if it’s designer)
  10. Stealing the Spotlight—Recently I’ve heard of others getting engaged at a friend’s wedding! There must be only one star couple per event; wait until another day.
ABOUT TRACI MCBRIDE: TRACI IS THE WARDROBE STYLIST AT TEEMCBEE IMAGE CONSULTING. SUBSCRIBE TO HER NEWSLETTER, SCHEDULE A STYLE STRATEGY CALL, OR REQUEST TEE SPEAKS TO INFUSE YOUR ORGANIZATION WITH PASSION AND STYLE.

Dressing for the Occasion

I often hear clients say they want to be polished and appropriate for all the events they need to attend. Their real goal is to not embarrass themselves by appearing that they do not know any better by over-dressing or under-dressing. Usually it’s the horror of having experienced one of those awkward experiences that propels them to call me. (A little job security never hurt anyone.)

Why does it matter?

Your dress communicates who you are and what you believe, not only about yourself but also your hosts for the event.

Tradition – Honoring the expected dress for particular social events, such as weddings and business galas. With that being said, I’m not advocating dressing in a homogenized way to blend in with everyone else either.

How do you know what is expected? The invitation will be the first place to check. If the invitation doesn’t spell out the dress code, look at some clues from the venue and the occasion. Still not sure? Call or email the host or event planner and ask.

As an example: New Year’s Eve party at a friend’s home? What would you find most appropriate?


What if you received an invite to a country club or hotel?


General Guidelines and Terms:

White Tie: Rarely seen on modern invitations, white tie is the most formal dress code. It includes tailcoats, piped trousers, and white waistcoats for men. Women wear formal evening gowns, long gloves, and high heels. Unless you happen to attend jet-set dinners or work for very large charities or the White House, you’re unlikely to ever face the white tie code.

Black Tie or Evening Dress: Black or midnight blue dinner jacket and matching trousers for men are expected. Women are expected to wear dressy cocktail or evening gowns.

Black Tie Optional: Often used for ceremonies where the participants will be formally dressed but want to spare their guests the necessity of owning or renting a tuxedo. A solid, dark suit with a dark tie and a white shirt is perfectly appropriate at these events, but anything patterned is too informal. Women need to wear cocktail dresses or dressy separates in dressier fabrics, such as silk, taffeta or satin.

Semi-Formal or Business Dress: Should not be confused with casual or business-casual; a suit is still expected. A tie is necessary. Women should wear cocktail dresses, long dressy skirts or dressy separates.

Business-Casual or Dress-Casual: Implies that a tie in particular is optional, and in some circles also indicates that a jacket can be omitted or replaced with a sweater, vest or similar garment. The shirt must still be collared, and dress trousers are expected. For women, open collar shirt, sweater dress pants — business type dress. Always consider your company’s usual dress code.

Casual: Does not mean “anything goes;” any event that bothered to provide a dress code still expects attendees to look neat and well presented. Fabrics can be more casual, such as neat-fitting jeans, shirt, and sweater for men, and the ladies can wear stylish jeans with a dressy top. Always be mindful of your personal brand.

When working with clients, I inquire about the way they spend their time and if they attend galas or black tie events on a regular basis. Many have an event or two they traditionally attend. My advice is to build a special occasion wardrobe so you can avoid the last moment dash and stress of hunting for the perfect outfit or details for the appropriate outfit. By doing this you will often save money by thinking ahead. Once an expert like myself helps you build a wardrobe that supports you—not only in your day-to-day life but also in all the special occasions of your life—you will never sweat the small stuff. You’ll always feel confidently prepared for any invitation that arrives in your mailbox.

ABOUT TRACI MCBRIDE: TRACI IS THE WARDROBE STYLIST AT TEEMCBEE IMAGE CONSULTING. SUBSCRIBE TO HER NEWSLETTER, SCHEDULE A STYLE STRATEGY CALL, OR REQUEST TEE SPEAKS TO INFUSE YOUR ORGANIZATION WITH PASSION AND STYLE.

An Image Above and Beyond Your Wardrobe

Each month we talk about the important tool of using our wardrobes to present the best version of ourselves. In this issue let’s talk about another equally important dimension of our image—our social giveback image. I see it all the time, as I’m sure you do … the social connections we have—those that do it well, and those that don’t. Right this minute I could log into my LinkedIn account and find the usual people that are hawking something—desperate to get you to like or comment. They do this by asking silly questions like what is our favorite movie, candy bar, etc.

I have at least a dozen connections on Facebook that show up when they are selling a workshop or event, stating it’s “very limited space” or “special pricing today only.” It is so obvious these folks only sign in to their page and not their feed. Also for a few of this group, they often get dressed up and show up at networking events only when they are looking for bodies to fill their workshops. I’m sure they have no idea that they are seen as obvious social takers. What image do we have of them?

Another group of people that we often have is the Facebook voyeurs who want to know what others are up to but never like or comment. Now, the few who I know well enough to ask why they do that tell me they don’t participate because they don’t want the email notifications that they will receive if they comment. That sounds like an excuse. Facebook is to “connect” and build or deepen relationships, personally or professionally. Voyeurs simply like knowing what everyone is doing, and when they run into you, they don’t even mention what they know. Often when they ask, “What’s new?” and when you share “I just got back from a conference” they respond with, “I know, I saw that on Facebook.” What image do we have of this person?

I really believe we need to use social media especially when we don’t need something from it, but just as a relationship tool. As I meet people at networking events, I use the business cards I receive to look up those that interest me and connect with them. Sometimes it leads to a face-to-face conversation or other connection, but often it ends with just connecting online. I let things happen organically.

So where do you fit in?

Social Givers:

  • Authentically show up, comment, and like others’ posts.
  • Sign up for e-newsletters from people they see at networking events as a way to understand what they offer to their clients, so the social-giver can refer business.
  • Look up every one of their clients and connect and share their clients’ e-newsletters, articles, etc., so their clients know they care and want them to be successful.
  • Don’t feel obligated to give their business to everyone but will make appropriate referrals to others based on their needs.
  • Share others’ good news on their own pages because it makes the other person look good.
  • Look for opportunities to give positive feedback to everyone they are connected to.
  • Arrive with a “who can I help?” mentality.
  • Purchase tickets to events and show up for those they want to support.
  • Happily write and send testimonials for those they do business with.
  • Update their professional photo every other year.

Social Takers:

  • Promote their workshops and newsletters, then disappear.
  • Never or rarely “like” or comment on others posts.
  • Arrive with a “what about me?” mentality.
  • Never sign up for other e-newsletters or blogs.
  • Never purchase tickets or attend others’ events.
  • Never share others good news or articles.
  • Never send a testimonial to support another person.
  • Many times have an outdated photo of themselves looking much younger or, worse, a “selfie.”


As you can see, we are all making an indelible impression of who we are and what others can expect from working with us on social media, not just when we walk into a room. Evaluate your social media language and detox it just as you would your wardrobe. Be colorful, authentic, honest, and complimentary of others and have fun with it!

ABOUT TRACI MCBRIDE: TRACI IS THE WARDROBE STYLIST AT TEEMCBEE IMAGE CONSULTING. SUBSCRIBE TO HER NEWSLETTER, SCHEDULE A STYLE STRATEGY CALL, OR REQUEST TEE SPEAKS TO INFUSE YOUR ORGANIZATION WITH PASSION AND STYLE.

Going Nowhere Fast Style-Wise?

Here are eight ways to tell if you are stuck in a style rut:

  1. Is there a lack of color in your closet? Do you have 50 shades of grey or black, from tees to suits?
  2. You own more yoga pants (women)/athletic pants (men) than you own tailored pants.
  3. Your first thought when dressing is to “be comfortable.”
  4. You never get compliments on your appearance. Do others ask if you are tired?
  5. You experience no joy or excitement when dressing each day.
  6. You’ve had the same hairstyle and/or make-up for five-plus years.
  7. You decided—over two years ago—not to buy new clothes until you reach your “goal” weight.
  8. Your closet is full, yet you have nothing to wear, or you wear the same 20 percent over and over.

Here are eight ways to move OUT of that style rut:

  1. Color is CONFIDENCE and ENERGY! Learn to harness it and discover your personal POWER COLORS. You will be shocked at the way you feel!
  2. Evaluate your wardrobe and detox your closet from anything that isn’t honoring your NOW body or bringing you joy.
  3. Put a full-length mirror where you dress each morning – and use it before, during, and after you dress.
  4. Create positive affirmations and hang them up where you will them see each and every day.
  5. Learn your body shape – this alone will save you much time, energy, and money.
  6. Create a style vision board. Use magazines, catalogs, and your phone to gather visuals of what you would like to move toward in your style.
  7. Change one thing. Many times making one positive change motivates you to continue.
  8. Create a team of advisors. By investing in your team, from a manicurist and hair stylist to personal wardrobe stylist and image and confidence coach, you can do what you do best — and they will always make sure you look and feel your very best.
ABOUT TRACI MCBRIDE: TRACI IS THE WARDROBE STYLIST AT TEEMCBEE IMAGE CONSULTING. SUBSCRIBE TO HER NEWSLETTER, SCHEDULE A STYLE STRATEGY CALL, OR REQUEST TEE SPEAKS TO INFUSE YOUR ORGANIZATION WITH PASSION AND STYLE.

Packing Under Pressure

It’s an emergency call that for some reason always comes in the wee hours of the morning:

“Something has happened. How soon can you be here?”

Perhaps you’ve experienced such a family emergency or a work situation that had you suddenly throwing clothes into a suitcase and buying an e-ticket for the next flight on your smart phone. No time to make a plan or give thought to what to pack so you can be dressed for whatever situations you will need to deal with once you’ve arrived.

A situation I experienced earlier this year was a text at midnight in below-zero temperatures. “Angela’s water broke, we’re going to the hospital.” The hospital my son was referring to was six hours away if the roads were clear, but we had several feet of snow on the ground and icy roads. Also, this was three weeks before she was due, so I had not pre-packed. It was on my to-do list for the following week.

I have the prescription to always be prepared like a good Girl or Boy Scout: A well-edited closet. Yes, if you live every day in a well-edited closet and build a wardrobe that completely supports your life, then packing in any situation will be as easy as 1, 2, 3.

  • DRESS IN THE DARK! Only kidding (well kind of). Set up your closet so you could potentially dress in the dark. Organize hanging items by type, shirts, jackets, etc., and then within those parameters by color, lightest to darkest.
  • READY-TO-WEAR CONFIDENCE: Group a monthly cluster together, items that can easily overlap and mix with each other from casual to business-appropriate outfits, including accessories. This way if you find yourself getting super busy during a regular workweek or if the emergency happens, you can grab the pieces and go.
  • ROAD-READY TRAVEL KIT: Collect those sample sizes of your favorite hair care and grooming items. Ladies, most cosmetic companies make a sample size of foundations and other necessities. I usually always have in my purse a duplicate lipstick and powder for daily touch-ups. When I buy mascara and the expiration date starts ticking away once it’s open, I always buy two at a time. The last thing you want to do is to hunt at a store for whatever items you need in a city you are not familiar with – or paying top dollar, like I did in Paris when I forgot to pack my foundation many years ago. Oh, and go for a clear bag to be ready to fly if needed. Just makes your life easier!

Editing Your Closet is KEY to always being prepared for anything that happens in life. Last time I checked, no matter what the situation is, you need to wear clothes. No exceptions!

Only Own What Honors You! Now, be honest, is there a section in your closet right now at home that you haven’t touched, considered, looked at or put on your body? That is very precious real estate, so get rid of it. Move it out now. Now if you have excuses like “I paid $$$ for it,” then you really need a professional like me to show you either how to wear it or why it doesn’t work on your body or with your goals or lifestyle.

Embrace the POWER of COLOR: Color really is the fountain of youth! You can look like you just got back from vacation every day. Another way to celebrate color is to shop in your personal color wheel. Creating a multitude of cohesive outfits that give you more bang for your buck really does simplify your daily routine, and when those emergencies happen, packing is a breeze.

Master the Tools: Organizing tools are the easiest way to keep track of everything. I love the felt-covered slim hangers. No longer are my clothes sliding off onto the floor and getting lost. I also enjoy hanging soft shelves from the rod, so folding and then rolling my casual tees and tanks saves hanging space, but I can also see the colors I need at a glance. Stacking really isn’t effective for this; those that do either wear only what’s on top or the stack topples when trying to get to something near the bottom.

Seeing is Believing and Wearing: If you can’t see your clothes and accessories at a glance, you tend not to wear them.

Editing your closet is a perfect way to really know your wardrobe inside and out. When you know what you have, you tend to get more wear and enjoyment from your investment of time and money. You end up exuding confidence in everything you do. The bonus is you will be prepared for any emergency that pops up, giving you more time to focus on what needs to be done rather than stressing over what to pack. If all of this seems overwhelming, reach out to a professional wardrobe stylist like me. I often collaborate with professional organizers to create a well-edited closet that serves you every day.

ABOUT TRACI MCBRIDE: TRACI IS THE WARDROBE STYLIST AT TEEMCBEE IMAGE CONSULTING. SUBSCRIBE TO HER NEWSLETTER, SCHEDULE A STYLE STRATEGY CALL, OR REQUEST TEE SPEAKS TO INFUSE YOUR ORGANIZATION WITH PASSION AND STYLE.

Is the New You Right For the New Year

As soon as December 26 arrives, every other email or Facebook posting is about resolutions, health improvement, diets, getting organized, finances, buying a house, remodeling your house, and head-to-toe makeovers. In my many years on this earth, and with my experience in the business of image, it seems most of us won’t make huge sweeping changes. And if someone does make huge sweeping promises, they promptly forget them  and then go back to the usual day to day. Heck! It’s usually freezing outside and all our bodies want to do is hibernate and eat comfort foods, right?

Perhaps you are ready for a different approach — Change One Thing. Tiny, medium or large — your choice. Perhaps it’s matching up your socks. Some of you might consider that tiny, but since it’s my least favorite thing to do (I really don’t understand why), I think it’s a large task. Yes, in full disclosure, I have been known to buy more socks to avoid pairing up the bins of socks I own. Silly to some, but we all have something we avoid for apparently no reason.

Here are some options to “Change One Thing” in your personal image

Perhaps you’ve been wearing the same style of eyeglasses for a few years, and this one thing could easily modernize your look. Be bold. Order in your power color or a print.

Another common situation I see is building a wardrobe of all black. Now I like black too, but all black, day after day, will zap your energy and make you invisible. Perhaps 2019 is your year to change one thing with color contrast.

Perhaps you are ready to change one thing by adding detail. Stand out from the crowd and jazz up your expression of personal style.

Perhaps it’s a boutonniere or upgrading to leather. These details communicate polish, success, sophistication and credibility in more ways than you might realize.

Perhaps getting more looks out of what you already own is the “change one thing.” Have you ever played with your clothes? I like to call it master the mix. Blocking out time to do this for a few hours can really elevate your look and save you a bundle. Many times it’s not adding more to your wardrobe — it’s about getting more out of the wardrobe you already own.

Have you been wearing the same scent for years? Step out of your box and shop for a fresh new statement scent.

Keep it simple and just change one thing. What usually happens is you will get such a nice feeling and feedback from others that you will want to change one more thing and another one after that.

What is your change one thing? I would love to hear from you on my Facebook page or in an email. Happy New Year!

ABOUT TRACI MCBRIDE: TRACI IS THE WARDROBE STYLIST AT TEEMCBEE IMAGE CONSULTING. SUBSCRIBE TO HER NEWSLETTER, SCHEDULE A STYLE STRATEGY CALL, OR REQUEST TEE SPEAKS TO INFUSE YOUR ORGANIZATION WITH PASSION AND STYLE.

Build Your Confidence: What Are You Going to Change in Yourself This Year?

 

We hear all sorts of advice as to whether we should (or shouldn’t) make New Year’s resolutions. Apparently, it takes only three weeks before we all give up on them. Is that true for you?

Could You Do With Some More Confidence?

But what if you really want to change? What if you really want more confidence?

We all know that deep down inside we’re just as good as the next person, but when the time comes to step outside the comfort of your own front door and face all those others who seem to brim with confidence, you feel small and inadequate and go right back to being someone who doesn’t quite get what you want.

It doesn’t have to be that way at all. In fact, as Louise L. Hay says at the end of the first chapter of her excellent book, “You Can Heal Your Life” (and I’m paraphrasing wildly here), you’ve tried unconfident and it didn’t work, did it? So, why not try being confident?

You Will Be Judged By the Way You Look

Looking fabulous all the time will certainly go some way to increase your confidence about yourself. People judge you by how you look whether you like it or not, so my advice is to make the very best impression that you possibly can. You will receive more courteous treatment the better you are dressed. Just think of the way Julia Roberts’ character was treated in the film “Pretty Woman” when she tried to shop on Rodeo Drive in Hollywood while dressed like a lady of the night.

Job Interviews

And if your plans for next year include improving your job prospects, then think about this for a moment: a prospective employer will want to hire you because you are well-dressed, which indicates to them that you are efficient, healthy, and capable, and therefore just what they are looking for.

Do you realize that by the time you have opened the door at an interview, walked in and held out your hand to shake theirs, the interviewer has already made his or her mind up about you? And that is usually BEFORE you’ve said a word!

Now, don’t get upset about this — because YOU do exactly the same to other people! It all happens at a subconscious level, so you’re probably not even aware that you’re doing it.

First Impressions

Studies have shown that 93 percent of a first impression is non-verbal. And people make their minds up about you within 30 seconds of meeting you. Actually I believe they decide in three seconds and use the next 27 seconds to confirm their decision. They look at the overall impression that you create. They scan you up and down, trying to work out whether you look capable of doing the job.

If you were interviewing someone who looked pale and wan or badly put together, would YOU want to employ them? No, of course not. You’d want the best person you could find for the job, someone who looks as though they will be in the office every single day, not off sick.

I have learned my lesson well. I understand all about the importance of first impressions and use it all the time to get what I want. And you can do exactly the same.

What Do YOU Want From Life in 2019?

So, take a moment to consider. What exactly do YOU want from life in 2019?
•    Promotion at work?
•    A better job?
•    To improve the way you think and feel about yourself?
•    More confidence?
•    More money?
•    To find a partner?
•    To impress your boss/work colleagues/friends/family?
•    To look good all the time?

So, What Are You Going to Change This Year?

If you do just One New Thing, I would recommend communicating with COLOR! Color = CONFIDENCE and makes you memorable when worn in the right way with the right hues for your skin tone. I believe in color so much that I always discount a Color Analysis when done at the same appointment as a Closet Detox, which is my recommended Step Four in my new book, Mastering Your Evolving Style.

Why not start by discovering what your personal power colors are with a professional consultant, and let her show you which shapes, fabrics, textures, proportions etc. suit you, your personality, your body, and your lifestyle?

ABOUT TRACI MCBRIDE: TRACI IS THE WARDROBE STYLIST AT TEEMCBEE IMAGE CONSULTING. SUBSCRIBE TO HER NEWSLETTER, SCHEDULE A STYLE STRATEGY CALL, OR REQUEST TEE SPEAKS TO INFUSE YOUR ORGANIZATION WITH PASSION AND STYLE.

Avoiding Invisibility This Holiday Season

As the party season begins,  we have many opportunities to attend some stellar events. These events are perfect for meeting potential clients, employers, friends, dates, and spouses — whatever you’re looking for, and sometimes not what you may have been expecting (in a good way).

Careers and relationships are impacted by our behaviors, positively or negatively, depending on the choices we make. I suggest you show up with the intention of having fun and connecting with others. If this event is sponsored by your company or hosted by a client or business association, err on the side of conservative in both behavior and dress.

I attend networking events on a regular basis, and I continually see many people that just are not comfortable being at these events. Usually from across the room you can recognize those who are not making the most of their time and are giving the wrong impression of who they are. First, let me share the signs of becoming invisible while asking: Do you recognize yourself or your colleagues in this description?

Invisibility Signs:

  • Dressing safely – Many times it is all black, with little to no texture, shine or style. The only item that stands out is the white nametag they gave you at the door.
  • Wearing poor-fitting clothes – Too big is frumpy and sloppy while too tight is desperate or night-clubish.
  • Closed body language – Hands in pockets, crossed arms, caved or slumped shoulders, wall leaning, fidgeting, and hand grooming your hair or lint off your clothes. Texting or being on your phone tells others not to approach and is always rude.
  • Odd facial expressions – Wearing your resting face, deer in the headlight, glaring or frowning.

How to avoid being invisible:

  •  When you know better, you do better: read a book, take an online teleseminar or hire a coach on how to overcome whatever is your obstacle.
  • Only wear what really works: Fit rules. Your clothes do not have to be designer to make you look your best. Fit your body shape, and have your outfit tailored to fit you.
  • Wear what makes you feel confident: We walk, stand, and talk differently when we are dressed our very best and we feel it. Trust me, others will respond because they will feel it too.
  • Know and wear your POWER colors: This tip alone will have you standing out for all the right reasons — not only for others to notice you but also for all those social media pictures. All those group pictures posted the next day will have everyone melting into each other with floating heads – except those wearing their power colors. They will stand out, and their connections will notice that.
  • Dress to your strengths by knowing your body shape: This tip, along with your power colors, will save you an abundance of time, frustration, and money.
  • Avoid all black all the time. I’ll repeat this that statement until the day I die. All black wardrobe = rut. Be deliberate wearing black. I prove this to my clients over and over again. Wear your power color near your face – always. Men, you can achieve this with your shirts and ties; ladies, with clothing, scarves or jewelry, even lipstick.
  • Scale your accessories to your frame. There is nothing wrong with a flattering statement necklace — it’s when you wear the statement necklace, the statement earrings, the statement bracelet, and statement ring that you’ve gone way too far over the limit.

Mind your Ps and Qs. Ask more about the other person than sharing about yourself. Ask open-ended neutral questions that are not too personal in nature if you are meeting for the first time. Have a great handshake and give excellent eye contact. Avoid monopolizing one person’s time and have a smooth exit strategy should you get cornered.

It’s human nature to want to be noticed, valued, and respected. When you dress as if you respect yourself, others will give you respect. A little self-awareness goes a long way to practicing the body language and facial expressions that will encourage others to interact and engage with you.

ABOUT TRACI MCBRIDE: TRACI IS THE WARDROBE STYLIST AT TEEMCBEE IMAGE CONSULTING. SUBSCRIBE TO HER NEWSLETTER, SCHEDULE A STYLE STRATEGY CALL, OR REQUEST TEE SPEAKS TO INFUSE YOUR ORGANIZATION WITH PASSION AND STYLE.

Wearing Black Deliberately, Not As Your Default

Do you wear black as your default or as a safe bet? Does wearing color make you a little nervous? Do you believe wearing black is slimming? Do you believe wearing black is chic?

Well, I spend a lot of time in closets, and I find that when black is worn almost exclusively, it drains one’s energy.  It also communicates to others that you are bored, not creative, and perhaps lazy. Now don’t get offended … hear me out.

Most of the women I work with have numerous pairs of black pants, skirts, and dresses. I spend time with them to sort through and decide how to best let go of a majority of these garments (without judgment).

For example, I have a lovely client that had 39 black pairs of pants! Yes, each was different in some detail, such as the cut, pockets, weight, fabric, trim, etc. So she tried on each pair for me, and we made decisions by the cut for her Body Shape I.D., the purpose, fit, season and style.

Another woman had every variation of black dresses — 22 in all — and again we used this method to narrow it down.

Probably the largest number I’ve seen in a garment category was black shrugs – 96! Most were slightly different, but many didn’t honor her body, either too long or too big, too similar, etc. No one needs 96 of anything the same.

All of these clients purchased these items one at a time, not all at once. Over time, shopping here and there, they thought each item was completely different from anything they had at home.

I often find the reasoning for owning so much black is a body image issue. They figure they will look slimmer. Usually it’s more about hiding the size or shape that they are not happy about and wanting to just disappear.

Wearing Black Differently

As soon as you learn new ways to take the best of black and energize it with texture, print, layer, and color, your whole wardrobe will expand. You will appear modern, fresh, energized, and outgoing, all while flattering your figure and feeling confident. Here are a few examples:

  • Photo 1: Color block dress. The dress slices her in half, then gives a strong asymmetrical line, which is very flattering for her body type. Never wear black shoes with a dress like this. Either a pop of color or nude to extend the leg line.
  • Photo 2. Black slims the torso and arms while the power color frames the face and creates a flattering vertical line. This works great to de-emphasize a fuller bust or a little extra in the middle.
  • Photo 3. Black on the bottom of jumpsuit is great, as it isn’t bringing the attention down; the colorful print draws the eye up and to the face. Excellent for those with fuller hips, tummy or thighs.

Chiseling your waist is something many ladies ask me about. Each of these examples below does just that in slightly different ways.

  • Photo 4. Black sweater has a vertical line contrast that brightens and emphasizes the face as well, and then the nip at the waist keeps the sweater from overwhelming the body and becoming frumpy. Pair this sweater with light to medium grey or burgundy windowpane slacks or pencil skirt.
  • Photo 5. White business blazer uses two great techniques with slimming panels at the waist and the sharp vertical contrast piping, which causes the eye to move up and down for a slimming trick of the eye. Team with pencil skirt or trousers in white, grey or a pop of color to really set you apart from all the women that would wear with black pants.
  • Photo 6. Sheath dress with bold graphic in just the right place to create that all-important vertical line. The pop of red at the shoulder is a nice detail (although not a good option for the inverted triangle body shape). This dress could easily be worn with a bright color blazer, such as yellow or red; a shrug or bolero jacket would be great too depending on your body shape. Avoid a black blazer — eight out of 10 women would choose that. The color shoe is always my preference, never a black shoe that comes off heavy. If you must be more conservative, a nude heel would be a better choice.

The Most Common Ways Women Get It All Wrong

The speaker in Photo 7 is wearing all black against a black background. She appears as a  floating head, causing a distraction for the audience.

The pair in Photo 8 are a common sight. While the mom tried to kick it up with a print, she ruined the proportions with a wide leg pant and tunic. The daughter is just invisible, with no detail … and appears to be melting into the ground.

In small gatherings of women friends or colleagues, dark often appears to be the rule. Wearing black or dark grays day after day homogenizes you in more ways than you are even aware. For example, if all three of the women in Photo 9 worked in the same field, and you needed to hire one of them on sight, it would be a draw as none of them stands out. They are playing it safe. If you need a smart, savvy professional, begin with one that visually communicates that they are confident, modern, detail-oriented, and in the habit of taking the extra step. None of these three communicates that to me.

Photo 10, a group setting. This is another common gathering we see all over Northeast Ohio at networking events. The purpose of these events is to make a great first impression. If you were a fly on the wall, who in this photo does that for you?

Since we can’t typically speak to every person in a big room, we instead scan the room to see who stands out that we would want to meet without even knowing what they do for living. The women wearing all black and grey start to look like each other, but the woman wearing the bright blue dress and pink scarf or the woman in the burgundy dress and purse with the stylish haircut and perfect posture are two women I would want to meet.

Helpful Tips

  • Elevate your energy by wearing your power colors
  • Dress to be noticed in a sea of black and gray
  • Appear modern, polished, professional, detailed oriented
  • Feel more confident and empowered
  • When you dress interestingly, others assume you are interesting.
ABOUT TRACI MCBRIDE: TRACI IS THE WARDROBE STYLIST AT TEEMCBEE IMAGE CONSULTING. SUBSCRIBE TO HER NEWSLETTER, SCHEDULE A STYLE STRATEGY CALL, OR REQUEST TEE SPEAKS TO INFUSE YOUR ORGANIZATION WITH PASSION AND STYLE.

Make a Statement With Your Glasses

Those of us that need to wear eyeglasses have so many choices in just this one accessory. Now, usually having choices is a good thing. I say that because many personality types get overwhelmed with too many choices, and when that happens they tend to go basic.

I often ask clients as I do a Closet Detox what made them choose the garment that we are evaluating. The usual response is that they like some features of it but not all; the result is that they change their mind about wearing it. This is because the garment isn’t resonating with them; it’s not aligning with their true self on some level. Here are some of the comments that are shared with me when this same logic is applied to eyewear.

  • “I choose black glasses because black goes with everything and I never know what color I’ll be wearing.”
  • “I picked tortoise to stand out from basic black.”
  • “I decided to play it safe.”
  • “I didn’t know the best color to choose so I defaulted to wire frames.”

Needing to wear prescription glasses is new to me. I’ve been able to get away with “cheaters” for years but now I need bifocals for ease of driving, and seeing in detail is obviously important. Because the cost of prescription eyewear is restrictive for many, they don’t order more than one pair at a time — and making a long-term commitment to one pair is daunting. So many factors play into choice besides color, print, texture. You also must consider shape, weight, comfort … and if you need thicker lenses you might be limited by which frames you can choose.

As you consider the tips below, keep in mind that knowing what your personal POWER COLORS are is key. This is a tool that will save you countless time, energy, and money. Why? Once you know this powerful information, you can apply it to your entire wardrobe, which in turn will make mixing and matching in your closet effortless. This will then lead back to focusing on a color for your eyewear that will play back to everything in your closet. Everything comes full circle.

  • Consider shape and proportion. The lens shape should mimic the natural shape of the eyebrow (except if the frame styling is avant garde like this example). An arched eyebrow is flattered by a complementary arch in the frame/lens top; a straighter brow is complemented by a flatter frame/lens top design.
  • Choose glasses that help create the illusion of an oval face shape. If you have a slim jawline that makes your chin look pointy, avoid aviator styling and frames that are broad at the top. They will make the jaw appear slimmer. Square jawlines are not flattered by a square frame or lens shape. Round faces will only look rounder wearing round shapes. The solution? A frame or lens that is broad at the eyeline, which makes square and round faces appear more oval.
  • Check lens depth. The bottom edge of the frame/lens should end above the flare of the nostril. The “Ideal” nose length is one-third of your face length. If a nose is proportionally shorter in length, choose a shorter frame/lens depth with a flat, higher set or upward arched-style bridge. If the nose is longer, consider a deeper frame/lens with a thicker, lower set or downward-dipping bridge.
  • Show-off your personality. I have an over-sixty friend/client that loves polka dots, so she has polka dot eyewear, but it goes with 80 percent of her wardrobe because her wardrobe reflects who she is. She is fun, outgoing, and spontaneous, so everything she does is truly authentic. Yes, the glasses are black and white with the statement pop. Even if you are in a conservative business, showing a bit of personality and playfulness will be endearing and make you more approachable.
  • Consider tinted lenses. Many people have made their eyewear their trademark. No reason you shouldn’t consider doing this as well. You don’t need to follow the trends – bust out and own it!
  • Don’t be shy. Try on many styles and colors. I find when you first see yourself looking completely different from the norm, it can be scary — most will just stick with what they have always done. But eventually if you follow that reaction, you will be so stuck in a rut and bored by your look.

So how do you know which look is for you?

Solution:

Put your smart phone to work for you! Take a photo of every single pair that you think you kind of like. Then take a day or two or more to keep seeing yourself differently through your photos. Print them and hang up in your closet or office. I find when you begin seeing yourself differently, you become more comfortable taking a step outside of your box.

Life is an adventure — enjoy!

ABOUT TRACI MCBRIDE: TRACI IS THE WARDROBE STYLIST AT TEEMCBEE IMAGE CONSULTING. SUBSCRIBE TO HER NEWSLETTER, SCHEDULE A STYLE STRATEGY CALL, OR REQUEST TEE SPEAKS TO INFUSE YOUR ORGANIZATION WITH PASSION AND STYLE.

 

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